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Destiny vs. Willpower

  • Writer: Lilly Scheibelhut
    Lilly Scheibelhut
  • Feb 23
  • 1 min read



Lately, I've been dreaming about my exes. A few times even my abuser.


It's always the same. I find myself in a situation. A pattern. A cycle. I don't want to be there, but I'm there. I think: "How did I do this to myself, again?"


Usually, I sigh and believe it's just destiny.

But, it's not.


I'm scared of detaching. I'm scared of telling this person my true feelings. Scared of leaving this person and being "alone" ...


A past me would have said, "Oh well. It's just a dream. It doesn't matter." But, it does. Dreams are the gateway to our subconscious. And even though I'm in a healthy, loving relationship now, I clearly have a deep, karmic seed that needs to be burned up.


So, I've been practicing. Before sleep, I rehearse the situation and instead of feeling hopeless, I feel confident.


"I love myself. I will not repeat this pattern. I am never alone."






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my story

Everyone has shame in their pasts. Sharing instead of burying is the key to healing.

resources

One in ten children will be sexually abused before their 18th birthday.

healing through

I strive for growth

in these three areas

of my daily life. 

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